FAQs
Most of what follows is what we are asked on the telephone in the first day or two. We have written the answers as we would give them in person, without euphemism.
In the first few hours
What most people telephone about on the first day.
Someone has just passed away — what do I do first?
Take a breath. There is nothing you need to do in the next few minutes. If the death was expected and happened at home, you can call the GP or the nurse who has been caring for your loved one. If it was unexpected, call 999. Once the doctor or relevant authority has been involved, call us at any time, day or night. We’ll talk you through what happens next and arrange to look after your loved one when you’re ready.
Can I ring you in the middle of the night?
You can ring us at any time if it’s an emergency. You can also leave us a message on our contact form
Do I have to decide anything straight away?
No. There are very few decisions that can’t wait a day or two. When you first call, we’ll simply listen, answer your questions and explain the options at your pace. The bigger choices, such as the type of service, venue, flowers and music, can be made over the following days, with as much guidance from us as you’d like.
Can I sit with my loved one before you come?
Of course. Take as long as you need. Many families find it comforting to sit with their loved one, say goodbye, or have other family and friends come to visit. Just let us know when you’re ready and we’ll come to you.
Costs and payment
What things cost, when they are due, and what help exists.
How much does a funeral cost?
When do I have to pay?
You don’t need to pay anything upfront on the day you first call us. We’ll give you a written estimate and agree the arrangements with you first. Our invoice is usually due by an agreed date, and we can often arrange for third-party costs to be paid in advance. If you need more time or would like to spread the cost, please talk to us.
Can the estate pay?
Often, yes. Funeral costs are usually treated as a priority debt of the estate, so they can be paid from the person’s money once their affairs are in order. Banks will often release funds directly to the funeral director on production of the invoice and death certificate, even before probate is granted. Some people choose to pay personally and reclaim the cost from the estate later; if so, keep all receipts. We’re happy to explain how this works in your situation, and we’d suggest not worrying about this in the first few days.
Is there help if I cannot afford a funeral?
Yes, and please don’t let worry about money stop you from getting in touch. Depending on your circumstances, there may be help available:
- Funeral Expenses Payment (UK): a government payment for people on certain benefits, which can help with funeral costs. Applications are made through GOV.UK, and you should apply within six months of the funeral.
- Local council or hospital: they may arrange a simple funeral if there is no one else able to.
- Pre-paid funeral plans or life insurance: the person who died may have had one, so it’s worth checking their paperwork.
- Simple or direct cremation: a lower-cost option that we can explain in detail.
Arranging the funeral
Choices, timing and how much of it is up to you.
How soon can the funeral be held?
There’s no fixed rule, and you should never feel rushed. Most funerals take place one to three weeks after the death, depending on the availability of the crematorium or cemetery, the venue, the celebrant or minister, and the family. If the death has been referred to the coroner, or if relatives need time to travel, it may take a little longer. We’ll check dates with you and keep you informed at every stage, so you can choose a day that feels right.
Does it have to be religious?
Not at all. A funeral can be fully religious, entirely non-religious, or a mixture of both. We work with ministers and celebrants of all faiths and none, and we can help you create a service that reflects the person who has died, with the readings, music and tributes of your choice. If you’re not sure what you want, we’ll talk through the options with you.
Can we do something unusual?
Very often, yes. Families have chosen favourite songs instead of hymns, colourful clothing instead of black, unusual vehicles, woodland burials, photo displays and memorial gatherings in places that mattered to their loved one. If you have an idea, tell us. We’ll do our best to make it happen, and we’ll let you know honestly if there are practical or legal limits.
Can I visit my loved one before the funeral?
Yes. Many families find it helps. We can arrange for you to visit your loved one in our chapel of rest, by appointment, at a time that suits you. You’re welcome to bring family or friends, and you can choose to have a private moment alone. Just let us know what would be comforting for you.
Afterwards
What happens to the ashes?
Once the cremation has taken place, the ashes are returned to us or collected by you, whichever you prefer. There’s no deadline to decide what to do. Some families keep them at home, some scatter them somewhere special, some bury them in a family plot or memorial garden, and others have them placed in jewellery or keepsakes. We even have our own memorial garden. We’re happy to talk through the options and any permissions you might need, such as for scattering on private land.
Can you arrange a headstone?
Yes. We can guide you through choosing a headstone or memorial and handle the arrangements with our in house memorial service. Cemeteries and churchyards have their own rules about size, material and wording, and we’ll help with the application. Memorials are usually added some months after a burial, once the ground has settled, so there’s no need to decide quickly.
Who do I need to notify?
After a death, there are a number of people and organisations to tell, such as the GP, banks, pension providers, the DWP, HMRC, utility companies, the council and insurers. In the UK, you can use the government’s Tell Us Once service, offered when you register the death, to inform many government bodies in one go. We can give you a checklist and talk you through it, and there’s no need to do everything at once.
Is there support if I am struggling?
Yes, and you don’t have to cope alone. Grief affects everyone differently, and reaching out is a sign of strength. We can put you in touch with our in house support Sue on (01709) 571777. There’s plenty of other sources of support including:
- Cruse Bereavement Support: free helpline and online resources
- Your GP: who can discuss your wellbeing and refer you for counselling
- Samaritans: 116 123, free, any time, if you’re feeling overwhelmed
Talk to us
No obligation, and no charge for a conversation. We answer the telephone in person, day or night.
01709 571 777
SWINTON · 24 HOURS A DAY
CONTACT US
What to do
What happens next
01
Telephone
01709 571 777, answered in person at any hour of any day.
02
Send a message
Use the contact form and we will reply the same working day.
03
Call in
Our Swinton office, Monday to Friday — no appointment needed to ask.
Still not sure? Ask us directly.
Send us a message and we will reply the same working day — or telephone us at any hour if the death has just happened.